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The day before THE TEST
April 1st, 2010
On March 28th, a Sunday night, I took two pregnancy tests. They, of course, came back positive. A glaring "what-did-you-think-was-going-to-happen, stupid?" sort of response. It was as if the test was yelling at me. I did not respond well. In fact, I sat on the side of the bathtub and contemplated the conversation I'd had with Andy three days earlier. It went a little something like this:
Andy: "I think I should get a vasectomy."
Me: "Really? I mean, what if we want more kids...I kind of want a big family but I guess you're right, I mean, it's totally irresponsible to keep having children. So I don't think I'm totally on board with this. Maybe we could get it reversed someday, right? I think they're reversible. I wonder if it'll hurt, I don't want them to make you hurt. Yeah, I think you're right. Two kids is the responsible thing to do. We should be done. Okay, let's get you a vasectomy.!"
Andy: "Okay, then."
See, I'm sort of a verbal vomiter. I have to talk things out or write them out. But we'd made this decision, right? The responsible one. And then, three days later, I'm sitting on the tub, wondering how I'm ever going to tell him about this. He knocked on the door and asked if there was a reason I was hiding from him. I responded with a "yes."
And now, here we are. Pregnant with our third child. And we're happy...if apprehensive. Aren't parents always apprehensive? It's scary. Three kids under the age of 5. Three kids to clothe and feed and put into some sort of credible child care. It's actually sort of terrifying. But joyful. I have always wanted a big family (and if we were rich, I think Andy would too)...and others have done this. So here we go. Maybe it's for a reason. I don't know. But I'm grateful for a third baby. I'm grateful for another companion for Archer and Aidan. Another precious child. Another joy. Another year of sleepless nights.
And then I'm going to be grateful for Andy's vasectomy. Because, oh yeah, he's getting one now. Trust me!
First of all... Congratulations! Mom told me the news yesterday, but I was anticipating your post...and I loved that you delivered! What a conversation, I can't imagine. You have such great kids, which means you & Andy are great parents, I can say this now after having kids.
ReplyDeleteSecond...is this picture taken in front of your house? Whoever lives on this street...AMAZING!!! I love it. I am so desperate for trees. Take care, momma!
Thanks! And no, sadly, this is a colleague of mine's house. Beautiful, isn't it? There are some BEAUTIFUL places here- and so many trees. I miss the horizon there are so many trees.
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