Politics

So - I've been taking it all in for a while. Whirlygigs waving around me in the form of people with whom I work freaking the fuck out about silly things and big things and things I didn't even know one should freak about.

Issue #1: Shoes. The school at which I teach has a dress code. I seldom abide by it. I realize this is irresponsible. Typically, from the ankles up, I'm all professional. I teach for 5 hour stretches, twice a day. That's a LOOOOONNNNNGGGGG time to be standing and pacing and walking and teaching. I want my feet comfortable. So I wear Chuck Taylors or flip flops or flats....sometimes heels...but not that often. Today, El Presidente de Collegirito rolls into a meeting and steps on my toes.
He says, "Dr. Smith, what are those?"
"Why, they're shoes, El Presidente."
"Oh, really?" says he, "Do we think those are appropriate?"
"Do you think it's appropriate and/or legal to comment on my dress and the alleged dresscode when I've never seen a single handbook on this campus, sir?"
"Let's start the meeting," says he.

Issue #2: Coffee. I love coffee. I spend many hours of my day dreaming of swimming in a lake of rich Colombian brew chilled to a refreshing 75 degrees. Alas, not possible. In lieu of said fantasy, I drink it. Copious amounts...except not so much any more because of that pesky Generalized Anxiety Disorder that is triggered by too much caffeine.

I digress.

Coffee in question was at Coffee Haven, my local watering hole, where I met one of my 3 bosses for coffee today to discuss the shambles of my performance on my last job assignment. No bueno.

Asshat in question orders a "large cappucino with no milk".

The barista kindly tells him cappucinos are impossible to make without milk, he is ordering espresso. He FLIPS THE FUCK OUT.

At some point, I hallucinate cutting this man. He berates the barista. She makes him an Americano (espresso + water) which is what he actually wanted. When he realizes, he tells her that she should make "her fucking signs more intelligible". Seriously? Dude. Who talks to people like this? I'd have gouged out his eyes with the stirring spoon.

Issue #3: Husbands. Mine. I spend a large part of my life contemplating what a joy it is to be married to JDH. The other, smaller part, I spend torturing him and acting like a total bitch. This issue has to do with the fact that on Tuesday, I came home from a very long day of work and found the house reasonable messy and him on the couch. I was pissed. I got MORE pissed the following morning when, shlumping from the bedroom with both kids awake for the second day in a row and school delayed two hours for the SECOND DAY IN A ROW and husband gone to work, I cleaned said house. With a vengeance. I vaccuumed at 7 a.m. Not my finest hour.

Then that night, he has the audacity, the out and out balls to text and say he'd like to catch a beer with the guys from work! The nerve! Even though I've been telling him for, like, 6 months to do just that. On MY bad day!

So I vaccuumed again. And put away laundry. And acted like a total bitch when he got home. He noticed. Went to bed pissed. We sent nastygrams all day today and we're now over it. Adult fight accomplished.

Suck it, JDH, that's what you get for being perfect 95% of the time. A self-rightous, outrageously demanding wife who wants to know just how you plan on fixing the totally unacceptable 5% of the time when you're only semi-awesome.

Seriously. Assholes of the world. Get over yourself.

:)